Can I use my child pport to get into clubs?

My ID is non-existent and I can't get a temporary one, my driver's license is also non-existent, my pport is non-existent (because my ID is non-existent) and the only thing I have is my birth certificate (with no photo) and my child pport (with kid photo which is very different to how I look now). And I need to get past the bouncers, pls help me!?